Do you ever feel as though you are a speaking a different language when with a man?
Here you are, living in the same country yet you don’t understand one another? Everyone says communication is the most important thing in cultivating a relationship yet he’s just not getting what you are saying or doesn’t want to be bothered to really listen.
That’s because in some ways, men and women are foreigners living in the same country who have to learn one another’s language. Sometimes women are not speaking the man’s language in a way he can hear it. Here are 3 effective communication tips so you can talk to him in the way he can relate to.
Know What Kind of Man He Is
Believe it or not, there are different kinds of men! And depending upon which type of man you are with, you need to learn specific ways to talk to him so that he can hear you!
Visual men can’t get enough visual stimulation. They prefer face-to-face meetings. They are usually neat and well groomed and organized. They will use words like, “I see” and “That looks like a good idea.” They usually dislike having their feelings out in the open and it may be hard for them to open up. So since they express themselves visually, you’ll want to use similar language to express your thoughts like “ I really see what you mean” and “I would love to take pictures of you.”
Auditory men are into sounds. They prefer an in-person or telephone conversation overwritten texts or emails. These men express themselves well and enjoy debating things. When talking with this type of man, you need to use lots of loving questions and giving him verbal choices on things. You can respond to him with words like, “I love the sound of your voice” and “I hear what you are saying.”
Finally, there are men who are the feelers who wear their heart on their sleeve. This man is usually the easiest to establish rapport and intimacy with because they show emotion more like woman do. They tell stories that are based in emotions and will base his decisions on whether something feels good or not. He will use phrases like, “I don’t feel right about going tonight” and “Let’s keep in touch.” You can win his heart by responding to his emotions with, “ I can understand how you feel” and “I love when you hold me.”
Action Speaks Louder Than Words
Now that you know what kind of man you are dealing with, there are still some universal rules that apply to all types. Men in general like to be shown affection and less talking about affection. Show him you appreciate him by doing things for him like cooking dinner, picking up a check or giving him something that he expressed wanting.
When trying to solve a problem, try to avoid bombarding him with complaints and worries. Your worries, criticizing and fears will make him feel like he’s failing in trying to be a good partner for you. So many women become insecure with a man’s silence or because he didn’t call, become fearful and start asking guys questions like “are you mad at me?” or “are you thinking about breaking up with me?”
Rather, it is better to show him you care and give him space if he needs it. Men often need to go into their caves to decompress and solve problems and that it frequently has nothing to do with the woman. Use touch, talking lightly and offering to do something for him with allow him to get out of his head a back to you.
Allow Men to Help You
This is strong for a man and is very important when communicating with him. Whether it goes back to the cave man hunting for their woman to provide for her, this feeling still holds true for them. A man’s energy is all about “DOING” something for a woman and feeling like they are providing for her in some way. This may sound old fashion, but if this basic component is missing, a man can feel like he’s ineffective, isn’t worthy of her and doesn’t have a purpose. By allowing a man to take care of things and offering to accept them, he will feel strong and that he can take care of you.
By using these basic tools, you will start to understand who your man is so that you can start speaking the same language and navigate your country together. If you are looking for more personalized coaching in this area, make sure you contact me.
This article was originally published on Digital Romance.