Have you ever been on a date and you think you did all of the right things yet he still didn’t ask you out again?
You bought a cute new dress, got your hair blown out, had great date etiquette, was polite and thought you had a nice conversation. So what went wrong? Well, it could be something that you are entirely unaware of and that is your energy and attitude.
Research shows that upon first impression (which is in the first 30 seconds of meeting someone), a person’s attitude is one of the most important determining factors of likability. That is why it’s crucial to make sure you are in a positive mood when entering a social situation or on a date.
Here are 4 common attitude blunders to tune into so you can quickly make changes and date successfully:
1. Being negative.
It’s a common trap to fall into a negative mindset, especially if you have been dating a lot unsuccessfully. However, be careful because that negativity can show up in your attitude, body language and messaging.
Men get completely turned off if they perceive you as controlling, complaining, overpowering, a know-it-all, or that you are treating the guy like a business partner. If you work in a stressful work setting and you have a date after work, make sure you are “shaking off the day” so that you can get into a fun, flirty mood.
Men are most attracted to happy, fun, and confident women. Focus on cultivating those qualities within yourself and your contagious positivity will attract great men! Be the person everyone wants to meet and create a magnetic energy. Appear friendly and approachable.
2. Appearing desperate and needy.
It never feels good for either sex when YOU have to chase the guy. Many women find themselves after a long relationship, a divorce or a desire to find a man to have children with in a state of urgency and eagerness. Take a deep breath and stay present with your date so that you get to know him.
Avoid smothering him, being overly nice or revealing too much about yourself too fast. That translates as desperate and clingy. Your energy should be alluring so that the guy is drawn to you.
Let the man pursue you. A man enjoys earning you. This is not about playing “games” but about taking a stance that you deserve to be earned. Avoid being too available, eager and easy. Instead ignite the chase and create intrigue and mystery so that the guy wants to know more of you.
3. Getting stuck in your head.
You may feel nervous, insecure or not confident when it comes to talking with men. Nonetheless, get out of your head and avoid thinking of what to say. Don’t worry about or guess how the man is viewing you. Ask questions, listen and share about yourself. Sometimes too much reading and not enough “doing” can really hold you back.
You might have way too many facts and theories swimming in your head that you forget to just be in the moment and have fun. You know all that you need to know, so it’s time to take action and move past the fears and obstacles that are holding you back. Instead, be in the moment and present. Let your thoughts and feelings come organically out of the conversation.
4. Demonstrating a lack of sex appeal and feminine energy.
Whether it’s because they haven’t had a lot of dating experience, been hurt, or fearful of giving off the wrong impression, many women turn off their flirty fun side and feminine energy. So men then interpret them as boring, put them in the “friend-zone” or will say they didn’t feel chemistry. It sounds so simple but letting go of the urgency to find that perfect partner and the need to “interview” hundreds of men on dates can be freeing and make dating fun for both parties.
Avoid interrogating the guy on your first date with a hundred questions to see if he meets your criteria for marriage. Instead laugh, share stories, have a sense of humor, be light, be feminine, ignite the chase and create intrigue and mystery. Make him want more by showing the fun, sexy and playful side of you so that you can get to the second date. You are not jumping into a relationship with anyone on a first date or meeting, so just kick back and have fun. You’ll have plenty of time to get to know if he is the right one.
So next time you are out and about or on a first date, pay attention to these four attitude mishaps and how they may be impacting you when it comes to attraction. In order to avoid missing some magical opportunities it’s important to become self-aware so that you can make changes and get positive results!
This article originally published on Digital Romance.