Remember when you met for the first time? It was like time stood still and you couldn’t get your mind off of each other.
You would spend hours daydreaming about each other when apart and couldn’t wait until the next time you see one another. Then as time goes by, you settle into a routine, might take each other for granted and that spark that was once there dwindles to a dull fire with less passion, fun and attraction.
So what happens?
It is common for some of the excitement to go down as a relationship develops but sometimes people drift so far apart that it’s difficult to find their way back. In order to avoid the drift, there are things you can do to keep that attraction going.
Look at Reasons Why You May Be Getting Bored
The first thing to assess is if losing attraction, getting bored and not progressing a relationship is a pattern for you. It’s normal for dates and experiences to get a little stale after knowing someone awhile. But if you have a tendency to be an excitement junky and get bored after dating many people in a short period of time, there may be bigger underlying issues pertaining to commitment.
Often when people experience a loss or hurt from the past (i.e. parents’ divorce, being cheated on, substance use, etc.) there may be a tendency to keep relationships at a superficial level in order to protect yourself from being hurt. Once you determine your own patterns and get help around breaking them, it will be easier to progress and create attraction long term.
In the courting stage of dating a man is usually very attentive. Over time that attentiveness sometimes gets lost and may not be as thoughtful or as giving as he was in the beginning. But this is easy to get back by continuing to make your woman feel loved, cared for, adorned and cherished.
She always wants to feel that she will come first in your eyes, and that if she needs you, you will drop everything and come to her if necessary. Bring her flowers, surprise her with her favorite candy, buy her perfume you love and want her to wear, or take her on an unexpected trip. Compliment her. Talk about the dress she is wearing or compliment her beauty. Say things like, “you have a very pretty smile” or “you have the most amazing eyes.”
For women, it’s easy to get caught up focusing on the things you don’t like rather than the things you like. Men absolutely love to be appreciated so praise him!
Women often forget to compliment their man. Adding positive statements like, “I really like your outfit tonight” can make a man feel on top of the world and proud. These small terms of endearment go a long way and over time can create a habit of being nice to your partner and visa versa.
Be Romantic and Get Your Sexy On
Romance is a way of expressing love for one another. Showing your lady how much you love her can reunite that passion between the two of you. Think of ways you can demonstrate that love by doing small things for her such as giving her gifts, taking her on a picnic, cooking her dinner or bringing her flowers on a non-holiday. Spend quality time with her,especially on days that you celebrate together such as the day you met, your anniversary, etc.
For women, get in touch with your sexy, sensual side by doing something that is sexy and uplifting to infuse that energy and fun back in your life, which ultimately your man will love. Take a pole dancing class, buy lingerie for yourself and dance for him!
Pay attention to each others’ likes and dislikes and take the time to ensure happiness. Do something you know the other loves even though it may not be your favorite thing. Doing things for each other can really change the dynamic of a relationship and it shows the other that you enjoy doing things that makes the other party happy.
Break The Routine
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. So if you want a different outcome with your date, break up the monotony by picking something that is not part of your routine so it has some novelty, spontaneity and appeal.
For instance, rather than simply going to dinner consider doing activities that spike up that adrenaline like horseback riding, cycling, or hiking to give you something new to try. Couples fall into doing dinner and movies a lot because it’s easy and doesn’t take much thought. But that gets boring and stale. Surprise your partner by sparking your creativity and your heart rate by doing something daring like going to an amusement park or bungee jumping. The release of dopamine and butterflies in the stomach will actually make you feel like you did when you were on the first date.
Actions certainly do speak louder than words, and what better way to get the dating muscle toned than to do things to reignite the fire. Help put the fun and magic back into your dates and relationship by engaging in activities that trigger that excitement. If you want to learn more ways to attract what you want, make sure you sign up for my newsletter.
This article originally published on Digital Romance.