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When you consciously or even unconsciously ruin things to make them end, this is called self-sabotage. They say people who self-sabotage are somewhat afraid of intimacy in various forms and can act in different ways that can hurt themselves or others around them. Brandon Wilson is a communications and executive consultant who helps leaders and organizations identify the barriers that stop them from fulfilling their dreams. Brandon imparts his experience and story about his business relationship that cost him nearly everything. That experience has helped him develop a sabotage framework, which he wrote down in his book, Sabotage.

On this replay episode of The Charisma Quotient Podcast, host Kimmy Seltzer interviews Brandon Wilson. In this conversation, practical tools will be given to help you notice the patterns in your personal and love relationships that could sabotage your love life. They will also talk about different key signs to know if one is prone to sabotage from others and even yourself. The different red flags when establishing a healthy, growth-minded, and loving relationship. Once you can identify the signs, the more you are enlightened and capable of stopping these behaviors. Tune in on this episode to find out more!

ICYMI: Self-Sabotage When Dating: Interview With Brandon Wilson – Replay

Do you even find yourself in a situation or a relationship that is bad for you but you stay in it anyway? Maybe you don’t even realize that you are doing it. This, in simple terms, is what self-sabotage looks like, especially if you have been hurt in a past relationship where you totally opened yourself up for love. If you think about it, it’s the brain’s way of keeping you safe because if you pick something that won’t work out anyway, you don’t have to get close to being hurt again or even take ownership of it.

Self-sabotage keeps great people single. This is something that I see all the time, even with myself. A lot of you have heard my story. I always throw myself under the bus. Fear is the biggest thing that keeps people from change. Self-sabotage is generally an unconscious behavior. It is your subconscious mind keeping you safe from being hurt again. In fact, if you have been hurt in love, then your subconscious mind sees love as unsafe and will do anything to protect you from the same pain. It can feel particularly frustrating as it appears, and you have no control over your actions.

Self-sabotage, as a term, sounds awful. No one wants to deliberately cause themselves pain or stop themselves from being happy. The truth is, all behavior, good, bad or indifferent, has a positive intent, even the ones that frustrate you or cause the pain. Although this instinct can be counterproductive in the area of love, it serves a purpose until it doesn’t. Here are some ways that I see when I’m working with my clients how it shows up with dating. You might be judgmental right towards others but that judgment is within yourself. You have these high expectations that are difficult to meet.

This keeps you safe and pushes other people away eventually. It can show up how you treat people you date through your words and actions. You see self-sabotage when you act in a way that is unacceptable with the aim to see still if the person will accept you. You will do things and say, “Now, do you love me? Are you going to stay with me?” It may even be simple like you are doing things to numb out. It could be drinking, drugs, a lot of sex, saying hurtful things or passive-aggressive behaviors. All of these things are ways that you might self-sabotage.

I remember I was working with a client. She had so much self-sabotage, and it was impacting her ability to attract and stay in healthy relationships. When I began working with her, she was trying to wean off this guy that she was dating. He was extremely toxic to her. He was a little bit critical and abusive. He was emotionally distant. He would run hot and cold. She was thriving on the hot and cold. That’s partly what would the attraction was.

She knew that he was bad for her but still was drawn to him. Here’s the thing. I took her history as I always do. We figured out that growing up, she had an emotionally distant family and a highly abusive father who became violent. Ultimately, she kept picking men who repeated a similar behavior. It was familiar to her. She didn’t realize that this was keeping her safe because if she allowed herself to get close to a healthy situation, it scared her more than what she knew already.

This is the thing she would beat herself up on. She’s like, “I know this is bad for me but yet I still am drawn to it.” We had to do a lot of work around identifying those self-sabotaging behaviors, all the while building her self-worth. It had to come from within, learning how to make emotional connections, expressing her feelings, being okay, being vulnerable, and seeing who showed up for her were crucial for the process.

She started doing it. She started experiencing healthy relationships and dating but didn’t trust them. She’s like, “This guy is too good.” She was waiting for the ball to drop. It took a while for that reprogramming to occur. What’s crazy about it is if you are a self-saboteur, that’s often when you get attracted to saboteurs. It almost works hand-in-hand.

With me, I have an amazing leader in helping people with sabotage. I cannot wait for this discussion. He’s one of the world’s most sought-after communications and executive consultants. Over the last several years, he has helped leaders at some of the most influential companies in the world realize daring pursuits, from building college campuses to addressing global wealth disparities. More than this, he is also a survivor of leadership sabotage.

TCQ Brandon | Self-Sabotage Dating
Sabotage: Leadership that Overcomes Betrayal, Theft and Deceit

His bout with betrayal himself, theft, and deceit cost nearly $700,000 and threatened his livelihood in an unthinkable way. His story of resilience is inspiring. He’ll share more about it. It fuels his mission to help leaders unlock the next levels of their leadership. He has been seen all over the place. He has been on CNN, the Today Show, and Fox News. He’s the author of an amazing book called Sabotage. He has helped create a lasting impact for some of the world’s most trusted brands like Apple, Apollo, JPMorgan Chase, and a whole lot more. Welcome, Brandon Wilson.

Thank you so much for having me, Kim. This is going to be fun.

What you do is so needed and amazing. I do want to know your story because I read a little bit about you but we always are our own best teachers every single time. It sounds like you have a story behind it.

Thank you for having this important show. My hope is to share with your audience something that helps them to start building relationships that align and support their dreams. I want to start from a place of care first. Before I even talk about who I am and what I do, I want to let you know that I care about your audience. I will do everything in my power to give them practical, actionable things to start improving the quality of the relationships that they build in their personal and professional lives.

I felt that about you the minute you said hello. I immediately liked you and connected with you. It’s something that I talk to my clients about. Sometimes we get so caught up in the facts and what we are supposed to be doing. Even with dating, I see this happen all the time. The men and women have their checklist that they are going to interview the person on the date. It doesn’t become a real interaction. I feel that you are so present and real. My audience already feels that.

I will start by sharing and thank you for reading that bio. In a quick sentence, I specialize in helping organizations and leaders identify the barriers in their lives or organizations that stop them from fulfilling audacious and bold pursuits. I’m almost a leadership caddy, if you will, where I say, “That tree right there is going to block your ball. It is not going to make it to the hole.” In our lives, we have these blind spots, things, and tools that we utilize all the time because we’re comfortable with them.

Sometimes they may not be the right tools for the job that we need to get done. I’ve helped build organizations and make a global impact. One of the things that I’ve learned working with a variety of different kinds of leaders is that every company, organization, and pursuit is the byproduct of high-quality or poor-quality relationships. That’s it. If you only view leadership professionally, you have a narrow view of leadership.

Leadership is simple at best. It’s the ability to identify people and build relationships with people who support each other to do something bigger and greater than what we can achieve on our own. When we reach the acme of leadership, for that definition, we tap into the power of collective impact. Collective impact is the acme of leadership. It is going after things that are precious and yet, so sweepingly impactful that it takes a community of folks who love, believe, and support one another to fulfill those things. The bad news is that a lot of us lack the skills or the equipment needed to build the relationships needed to do that, not just in our professional lives but also in our personal lives.

One of the things that rob us of that ability is sabotage. I wrote a book about it. It’s an amazing study. My book is perhaps the most comprehensive study on the subject. I was a victim of it, and I have clients who were victims of it. I went on an interview tour, meeting with leaders and hearing story after story of personal and professional sabotage.

 

Leadership is simple at best. It’s the ability to identify people and build relationships with people who support each other to do something bigger and greater than what we can achieve on our own. Click To Tweet

 

I unpacked all of the lessons that I learned. Nobody wakes up and says, “I want to have a mediocre relationship. It is fantastic that I am in an abusive relationship. This is exactly the place I would dream I would be. My spouse or life partner consistently throws me under the bus. I love it.” People find themselves in those relationships.

When we were kids, we told ourselves that we would be married to prince charming or the queen of the world and that somebody would be supportive of us. We would find that person who would propel us for it and wed them. They would give me back the love that I have given to them. Over the duration of life, something happens that resets our expectations. We experience the realities of betrayal, theft, and deceit, not having the tools to address those different things that steal our dreams from us.

It allows that sabotage to become an expectation that we have in our own lives. It also becomes an expectation that we inadvertently introduce into the relationships that we build. I want to talk about how we get over that hump. Let’s talk about a practical definition of what sabotage is and what it seeks to take from our pursuit of building meaningful relationships that help us get after our dreams.

I love that you mentioned about the expectations. The high expectation is a form of self-sabotage, too. Knowing that you can never achieve it that also keeps you safe. It’s like, “That can’t happen anyway.” The pendulum effect occurs. You may go all the way to the other side and then do things to sabotage it anyway. I want to dive into the expectation but before that, I was curious because you sprinkled upon your own experiences with self-sabotage. Our own stories shape us. Were there significant things that happened to you along the way with self-sabotage that got you to that point where you were like, “I need to do something?”

My story is interesting. I will keep it brief. It pains me to talk about it every time because of how jarring the experience was. I’m not regrettable about having it because it led me to study its behavior. Around 2012, my company, communications consultancy, was doing great. We were making a lot. By my standards, it was a lot of money. I sat down with my wife and said, “It’s just the two of us but I want to build a family with you. I want to make sure that our child has the best school system possible, which means we need to prepare to move to a better neighborhood and have a larger home.” We built out a plan to do that.

One of the plans for doing that with strategies was to start acquiring other communications consultancies. I got a phone call from a friend of mine who said, “One of my mentors has a guy who’s looking to sell his company.” It happens to be a pretty reputable company. I knew of the company. It had some things about it that were attractive to me. I said, “Let’s do it.” We met and hit it off. He was an older stately guy. I allowed myself to be put in a mentor-mentee relationship with him but what I was after was achieving my personal goals. I needed money to do those things, to move and buy that house.

This was an opportunity to provide me with an experience that would lead to an additional million dollars to my net worth. I said, “Let’s take it.” He called, and I answered the phone. I said, “I have to endure this mentor-mentee relationship.” It became an imbalanced relationship. I endured it because of the end. I said, “I can survive this because I can get to the end.” One of the things that were bad about that imbalance relationship was that I tricked myself into starting taking poor advice from the imbalance relationship. It started to do things that impacted my life.

The bad advice is, “If you are going to buy this company, I don’t want you to buy the debt. Why don’t you buy the assets? Establish the third company with me, and this is the company you will buy. Start putting your monies into this third entity. It’s called an asset sale. It is a real thing. My legal counsel said, “It’s not time to do this. It’s premature. We are still doing due diligence.” I believed so much in the reality of the gold mine at the end of this tunnel that I jumped to it and started taking this poor advice. I started putting money into this third entity, paying money, and merging our staff together.

In about 2 years or 1 and a half years after, I put a lot of money into doing the due diligence. I get a call from my attorney. I go to his office and he says, “That third entity doesn’t exist. Where is your money going?” It was a gut check. It was a lot of money that I had put into this company that never was. Now it was time to separate. My saboteur revealed himself for who he was. That’s a bully. Bullying is a type of saboteur, which I will talk about before we close. He refused to sign the separation papers. I remember sitting in his office with him.

 

TCQ Brandon | Self-Sabotage Dating
Self-Sabotage Dating: Every company, every organization, and every pursuit is the by-product of high-quality or poor-quality relationships.

 

This is the last conversation we had face-to-face. He said, “You are going to keep giving me your money because it’s my money.” I told him I was not. He was a well-connected guy. He had a lot of political connections. He said, “If you choose not to give me any more of my money, I’m going to kill your wife.” He leans back in his chair and looks into the sky. He starts pointing in the air like that’s it. He said, “I’m going to tell you how I’m going to do it.”

He leans up and says, “If you don’t want to give any more of your money, this is how I’m going to kill your wife. I am going to call the buddies that I have down at the police department. I’m going to get trumped-up charges against you. I know if they arrest you, you have the money to get out. That’s not what matters. You got my money. You can bail yourself out.”

He said so half-jokingly, “What I want to do is get a mugshot of you so that I can circulate it all around town and blackball you from the business world. It’s going to do two things to your wife. It’s going to embarrass her because her friends are going to know she’s married to a crook. The second thing it’s going to do is rob your home and your dreams of the finances that you need to grow. We are going to suffocate the life out of your personal relationship.” That’s my story.

I fought back and survived. I had the means and incredible legal support to do it. My staff and team members were incredible. They stuck with me throughout the separation. All the threats and everything that was happening, my company stayed intact. My client stayed with me. Most importantly, I chose a wife who supported my dreams. She supported me through it all. That’s the foundation of getting up again and pursuing something else. We are better for it.

Now we have that house. We have that school system. We have that little baby. Her name is Kenny. My story is a testament to what you can achieve and realize once you understand that sabotage in the form of betrayal, theft, deceit or any other form is overcomeable. It doesn’t have to stop or limit you from reaching the dreams that you have for yourself. Use me as an example if there’s ever any doubt that you can’t get out of that abusive relationship and be okay on the other end.

You said something interesting embedded in your story. You said, “At one point, I saw the signs but I’m okay. I’m going to survive. I’m going to do this.” When you are used to being in sabotaging situations, how many times do you stay in something? A lot of times, there’s this people-pleasing thing that goes along with sabotage. It’s like, “I want to make it okay. I’m going to make this work.”

Partly why a lot of people stay in abusive relationships is because it also means that if anyone knows that this fails, then I failed. It’s that fighting thing that you want. That struck me. That happens a lot, too, with dating and relationships. The other thing you said is that in the end, you fought. You saw that you deserve something better. There are so many times that people fall victim and thrive on being the victim.

I chose myself. It’s easy to choose the money, the business, and the relationship. It’s easy to choose the politics, the political influence that you could gain. What does it matter if you lose yourself? That was a realization for me. It helped me to realize that, “If I am okay, then we are okay. Everything that I touch is okay.” It stops you from positioning yourself to acquire the tools of the saboteurs in becoming a self-saboteur and start using them against yourself.

Sabotage happens in our lives because other people do things to us but it is equally true that most of the sabotage, the betrayal, theft, and deceit happen because we sabotage ourselves. We choose relationships where we allow ourselves to be sabotaged. There are four things that people can look for whenever they want to identify whether sabotages in our lives or culture.

 

Sabotage doesn't have to stop you or limit you from reaching the dreams you have for yourself. Click To Tweet

 

How do you know?

It’s the synergy.

What are the signs?

If you are out looking for available building relationships that support your dreams, to know that you are in a place where you are probably vulnerable to sabotage, there are four things to look for that you can physically see. What I’m about to say next gives you the equipment. It’s almost a superpower to see betrayal, theft, and deceit before it comes into your life. What I’ve learned in my study and it’s in the book. We call these the Four Horsemen of Sabotage.

The first horseman is jealousy. If there is someone in your life, around your network or in a relationship with you, and you may be that person who says, “Why is it that Jane always gets A, B and C? Did you see what the neighbor did? They just bought a new car. They can’t afford that.” When that happens, what you are confronting is the horseman of jealousy. Jealousy is hatred disguised that’s anything but. It is, “I hate that this person is gaining things because life is a fixed pie.”

“Why does she get the guy? She doesn’t even look that great. Why is he getting all the women? What has he got that I don’t have?”

Even worse, “Why do you think you are so hot? Nobody else wants you.” I’m in a relationship with you, and I say that. What I’m doing is creating an environment where there is a zero-sum gain for you. I’m trying to get you not to leave because that’s one less person who will accept me. I’m going to sabotage you. If that person gets the girl at the party, then there are less women for him to have. It’s a fixed pie mentality. Jealousy is the most misunderstood of the four horsemen because we think we know it but there are levels to jealousy. If we don’t address it at its root, it becomes covetedness.

These are these activities that give action to those words. I will give you two examples. One example is a person in your circle saying to you because they are jealous, “You don’t need to pursue that new opportunity, that new job, go to that place or go out to get a better guy. You don’t need to do that.” If it’s not addressed, it explains the covetedness where I start hiding events and places for you to meet new guys. I start physically cold. At the end of the day, that saboteur will wake up and go out and do that thing that they are telling you not to do.

 

TCQ Brandon | Self-Sabotage Dating
Self-Sabotage Dating: It’s easy to choose the money, the business, the relationship, the politics, and the political influence that you could gain. But what does it matter if you lose yourself?

 

I love that you mentioned that because I always say, “If you don’t have a good set of wing gals or wing guys, just because they are single doesn’t mean that they are good for you either.” They could sabotage your singleness.

Part of the role of saboteurs in the book is to become a trusted advisor and almost a gatekeeper of opportunities to you. “Do you think I need to wear this? Do you think I need it?” That is a position that a lot of saboteurs want to be in so that they can seek to limit you. The other horseman is arrogance. Arrogance is another horseman that needs no introduction. It introduces itself. It is a force that’s driven by ambition to the point that it has a lack of regard and self-awareness for how its activities impact those around them. It’s all about getting to that next level, thing or conquest. If you find yourself in a position with someone who is arrogant, you will know it because they receive any criticism as a personal affront.

AKA narcissist?

You are narcissistic. The other horseman is lying. Lying and dishonesty have levels there. There’s lying to say, “Don’t look at me. I want to keep doing what I need to do. I want to preserve my present here.” That’s one form. The other form of lying is lying to harm others. There are two for their levels of lying. We know what lying as a force is. There’s no such thing as a small lie. They are all big because they position you to make decisions with inadequate or insufficient information.

It’s hard for you to make decisions about what things you want to pursue in a relationship with somebody else because they are not giving you the adequate information needed to make those decisions. Ultimately, you end up sacrificing or sabotaging the pursuits that you have together in your relationship because that person is withholding or not giving you accurate information.

People ask me all the time, “What are the signs of a narcissist? What are the signs of someone who’s emotionally unavailable?” There’s a lot of truth to discovering the dynamics of some of that. It’s great.

The last of the four horsemen is seduction. Seduction is a force of sabotage. Seducers, whether it be intimate or platonic, exist to invite us into something exhilarating. To do that, I have to be well-manicured, have a grand story, and do things that speak to what your interests are. I’m not intrigued by what we are doing more so that I am intrigued by these saboteurs who are driven by seduction. They love getting you to go along for the ride with them. That’s the entire rule here.

Is it like a high for them?

It’s a high. You find people who, in relationships, always have to go after the next conquest because it’s not about the destination for them. They also don’t believe that the ends are justified by the means. It’s however we get there. The more salacious it is, the closer it gets to be unethical, the closer it gets to getting you to do something outside of your value principles or set of values, and the more intoxicated this force becomes. It’s more of a challenge to get you to say, “I will get in that car and go with you.”

 

Arrogance is a force that's driven by ambition to the point that it has a lack of regard and self-awareness for how their activities impact those around them. Click To Tweet

 

I love all of those four things that you said. There is jealousy, arrogance, lying, and seduction. As a therapist, I would listen to this. At the end of the day, there’s an emptiness with people who do that. They do these things to try to fill a void deep inside. The motivation is to feel or get something that they never had early on. What you are saying is powerful.

There are eight motivations for sabotage. I will share with you two of them that speak to what you said. One is imaginative ideation. People curated these grand personas that they have to hold together with a glue of lies. If they are found out, then you will see them for who they are. I have to continue to lead you on these trails, get you to go on my rides or my journeys as seducers, or continue to give you insufficient information or get in a position of advisor to rob you of opportunities for fear that you may get the lenses to see the inadequacies in my life. That’s one form.

The other one is an act of altruism. There are people who believe that getting you not to do the things that you want to do is helping you. They are mission-driven. That’s a strong force. They believe that, “You have to stay with me. If you leave, you will be nothing.” They believe it with so much conviction. It propels forward a set of sabotaging behavior because they view it as a way of protecting you by keeping you.

I was reading one of your episodes with a young lady on there, not being able to have, find, and keep meaningful relationships. She said something interesting to you during that episode, “I can find great relationships but I have a hard time finding someone I can keep.” That word keep is important here. Keep is almost a collector of things and people. We all want to keep certain things of value. Sometimes those people who are propelled for to sabotage by this act of altruism almost have convinced themselves that they need to keep you in their relationships and to use betrayal, theft, and deceit to do that because it helps you.

People are taking notes and saying, “That’s me. I’ve met all these guys or girls.” They get to the point where they are like, “What do I do about it? I keep finding myself getting stuck in that loop.” Even with your own journey, what would you say to people? How can they take steps to get out of something like this?

I’ve created what we call the spectrum of vulnerability to self-sabotage. The first thing is identifying where you are on that spectrum. What is leading you to choose relationships or remain in relationships with others or yourself that leads to you sacrificing or sabotaging the dream life you had as a child? There are a couple of things. One is self-doubt. Is it that you don’t believe in your own efficacy? It’s important to understand what lived experiences you have had? What relationship did you have with authority figures as a child that leads you to not believing that you can do it alone?

I want to be in a relationship not with someone who needs me but with someone who wants me. I have to first want myself. Believing in your abilities is that start. When you go along that spectrum, sometimes you may encounter fear of success. We will stay where we are and try to hold on to the ever-fleeting present because we are fearful of the unknown that comes with success. We are fearful of the responsibilities that come with greater.

If I married someone else, who’s equally as powerful and influential as I am, we could do twice as much as I could do for myself but I’m scared of that place. I have to hold one of the parties back to keep us where we were when we first met. Think about that. If we could find out what is making you fearful of that success, then we could diagnose it.

The third is complacency, keeping us from achieving our best lives. Complacency is a sitting in now, not pursuing greater or better for our lives. To get to that place where we can achieve greater and better and have our best lives takes us to a place where we don’t understand what’s required to be successful in that world. We end up being complacent. I want to define complacent in a separate way of being where you are.

 

TCQ Brandon | Self-Sabotage Dating
Self-Sabotage Dating: As long as you know that disappointment is a reality that will happen inevitably, then you allow yourself not to be a victim of disappointment but a student within it.

 

Complacency is defined as an over-index of self-satisfaction. We are self-satisfied. We become satisfied with who we are and what we have that we sacrifice everything else. If you want to come into my life and get me to move to something else, I have to trip you up because I want to stay satisfied where I am. The first thing to do is to figure out where you are on that spectrum and then diagnose it. The way to avoid or minimize self-sabotage from your life is to curate a positive self-identity, to start seeing yourself as a winner, as a finisher, and as somebody who honors their commitments.

In closing, this is important to note. Of all the people you help, the one thing that’s going to keep them going forward, continuing to practice what you share with them, and building meaningful relationships is understanding that disappointment is a real thing. You are going to be disappointed. This is in the last few pages of my book. Disappointment translates from a Latin perspective to ill-appointed expectations. The cure to reducing disappointment in your life is identifying the things we are allowing to appoint or assign our expectations and then getting our expectations out of those banks and putting them in our own control.

There are three things that assign our expectations often. One is the lives of others. We look at what others do and say, “They are happy in their relationship. That’s what I need to be doing.” That’s what they do for their relationship. Doing that ultimately leads to disappointment. The second one is making decisions based on fantasy and imagination. These are the folks who find themselves being consummate victims of catfish.

They fill in the vacuums of why the car keeps breaking down when we are about to get together with fantasy and imagination. They tell themselves, “This is the last time that she will abuse me or that he will hit me. Tomorrow, he’s going to be prince charming, and she’s going to be the perfect person.” Those are imagination. We will allow ourselves to continue to be disappointed by sitting in that fantasy and imagination. The third is inadequate information. We make decisions about life partners and personal or intimate partners without allowing ourselves a chance to get sufficient or adequate information to make decisions about the spouses or the people we choose to have in our lives.

I got to highlight that one. Did you read what he just said? I’m punching that last one out because it relates to people’s vetting process. I see this happen all the time on Bumble, Tinder, and all the dating apps. They will take one little thing and make a hypothesis. “There he is again. There she is again. I’m not touching.” This is so important.

It leads to disappointment. You are not alone. Ninety-eight percent of the people in the world are living lives that are less than their dream lives, and the 2% have figured it out. Hopefully, this helps your audience member move closer to joining that 2%.

This helps so much. You have to make sure you get his book. This is fantastic stuff. There is one last thing I will say about what you said, too. There is a resiliency that comes from dealing with disappointment, too. If you learn to experience disappointment over and over again, that’s when you start saying, “That all doesn’t matter because I have myself.” It’s not anything but that.

As long as you know that disappointment is a reality that will happen inevitably, then you allow yourself not to be a victim of disappointment but a student within it. You will never be disappointed again, as long as you know that every time you have a chance to make a decision about the relationships you are building, it’s also an opportunity for you to learn how to become a better version of yourself as you pursue the best version of your life.

I was going to ask you for the last words of wisdom but you just said it. You’ve had many gold nuggets here. I would love for you to share it with everyone. How can they find you? How can they get your book and all of that stuff?

BrandonWilson.co is how you can learn about the book. You can click Buy Now. It will take you to Amazon. There’s an audiobook, an eBook, and a Paperback version. On the website, you can also do something else. You can also get time on my calendar, 30 minutes, no strings attached, just to call me and share with me some of the barriers or obstacles that are in your life that are stopping you from doing bold and audacious things. One of those things may be building relationships. I will share with you the benefit of my several years of experience and my study of betrayal, theft, and deceit to be your caddy for unlocking that dream life.

Thank you so much for coming on and sharing all your wisdom. I could go on and on with you. This is great. We will probably have you back on again because there’s so much more to unpack, too. Pick up his book. Thank you.

Thank you so much for having me. It has been a joy.

Thanks for joining me. Remember, you can build confidence, make connections, and find love from the outside in. Make sure you go to my site, KimmySeltzer.com. If you want to stop self-sabotaging behaviors and attract healthy love, sign up first with Brandon, then hop over and do a call with me. You got a 1, 2 punch. You will get lots of juicy tips. I will help you build out a roadmap and a love plan that can build out your own dating network and love life. It starts with you. Working on you is working on your dating life.

 

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About Brandon Wilson

TCQ Brandon | Self-Sabotage DatingBrandon is an award-winning executive and communications consultant. He’s also the author of Sabotage, a book that helps leaders overcome the forces that seek to limit their impact (learn more at brandonwilson.co).

Brandon’s work has influenced projects that have won both an Emmy and an Academy; and his executive consultancy has impacted leaders at some of the world’s most influential companies. Brandon is a New York Times Scholar, and an accredited PR practitioner (APR). Brandon speaks fluent Portuguese, and is learning to speak Arabic.

 

The Charisma Quotient Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and many of your other favorite podcast channels. 

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Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Authentic Dating Strategist implementing targeted style, emotional and social intelligence to your life. 

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Would you like to connect with Kimmy?⁣

Website: https://kimmyseltzer.com/

Chat: https://meetme.so/kimbreakthrough

Instagram: @kimmyseltzer

Twitter: @kimmyseltzer

Join her FREE Facebook Group Love Makeover Insiders: https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovemakeovers

 

About the Author Kim

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