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Perhaps you find yourself picking and attracting the same person over and over again who is NOT exactly good for you. Perhaps you are not able to get past the second date and get caught in the “friend zone”. Or perhaps none of your endless dates ever turn into relationships. Whatever challenges you are having when it comes to dating and relationships, you end up throwing in the towel and come to the conclusion of, “I suck at relationships!” But these words don’t serve you. Rather, look at what you are good at and what you need to work on. When I help clients look at their patterns and how to make changes so they attract what they want, I first assess where their strengths and weaknesses lie in the different phases of dating. If you watched the video above, I talk with Emily who is one of the contestants on set of The Romance about this very issue and explain the 3 phases of dating. My theory is that where people are strong in one phase, they fall short in another. Once people recognize where they need to change, it is easier to become more successful and find what you are looking for. For instance, if you are really good at the last “relationship” phase, you might have a hard time being light and flirty in the first “courting” phase. Knowing how to change things such as your messaging, body language, presentation and confidence can often produce a different outcome. Once you are able to break it down to know what to work on, you’ll be saying “I’m good at relationships!”

About the Author Kimmy Seltzer

For over a decade, I worked as a licensed therapist helping people grow from the inside out. But after going through my own life-altering divorce, I realized something was missing.

At my lowest point, I felt stuck, invisible, and disconnected from myself—until a simple moment changed everything. Trying on a bold red dress pushed me out of my comfort zone and shifted how I saw myself. That “red dress moment” showed me that confidence doesn’t always start within—it can start with how you show up.

Today, I help men and women build confidence from the outside in. Through my Charisma Quotient approach, I combine style, emotional intelligence, and social skills to help people create real attraction, connection, and lasting change.

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